Its been a long time that i didnt update my blog...been busy with sumthinz else....

I learnt sumtinz that makes me buck up...

hmmm...yesterday....i went out with dearest hubby to vivo city.....everything goes well until the time we went home....we caught up with some misunderstanding.....i wasnt refering  to him....but he think that i does.....and he think  that i look dont on hym.....

BIE..IF I EVER  LOOK DOWN ON U....I WONT BE WITH U AT THE FIRST PLACE.....THINK!!!

dont accuse we anyhow and say all the harsh things towards me by all means....

u said to me 

"AQU DH MALAS NGAN KAU.....

AQU MENYESAL KUAR NGAN KAU.......

SUNDAL.....

KAU CUCI KAU PEY MULOT PON CANTEK......

KAU  SIAM DARY HIDOP AKU PON CANTEK...."

Selame sepuluh bulan nie i ngan u.....nie aper yg i dpt????nie sumer kuar dary ur own mouth.....this how u treat me ???this how u show that u love me???

im not a doll with no feeling.......im a human being like u........

why are u soo heartless???

why is it  so easy for u to hurt others but u can accept it when other hurts u???

it is just a misunderstanding between us....and u started to throw all that mean thing to me.....

when it was u who has make a mistake....it is just easy for u to sae sorry.....BUT when it comes to me........saying sorry is worthless.....

u just will brag ang brag and making them worse......u dont even tend to solve it.......

IS THIS HOW U PROVE TO ME THAT U REALLY LOVE ME?.??WHEN  WE HAD AN ARGUEMENT......THE MAIN THING IN UR HEAD IS BREAKING UP......

dont treat me lyke on of ur ex......cause i feel lyke im one of them........

i just need u to change the way u treat me.....

im sorry if i have done any mistake .....

all have change now.......:('

I MISSH YOU BBY.....

i know this will happened again.......lyke last tyme.....when ur tyme are occupied.....there isnt any tyme for me.......and therefore......things will starts change slowly......u will easily get  mad aft done with ur werk...........i noe u are tired.......but do u styll remember that  who am i to u???when ur tyme is fully occupied u tend to forget what u have and who u  with all this while..............a gerl,sick and was alone at home,waiting for sumone to at least txt her.....saying what are u doing???are u ouhkayy????and stuff....
but she dnt receive any.....expecting  a call????that will never be done......just a simple msg...but she cant get it......but yet this gerl......she pick her phone up ...and call hym,that was her bf,but he rejected it  txt her".iam werking".....then she reply hym and said she will call hym during his break tyme.....
ans she waited and waited patiently until it was 6 p.m...cause  that was the tyme that he is having his break......she called hym again......and the called was being rejected.......and he  txt her "?"......that gerl wondered....why cant she talked to hym just for a while during his break tyme???and that guy scolded her in the msg saying that cant she understand that his hp batt is flat.........the gerl keep quiet and  doest disturb hym animore..........then......she lay down on the bed........and  suddenly she vomitted......and start having difficulty to breath......she called her mom  and asked her to be home quick..........she noe that she cnnt seek help frm hym.....althought the person she expecting the most to be by her side was hym.......but he was not the one................theres once  that the guy said to her....'u are troublesome'....frm dere....the gerl realise that when she is sick.......he cant tcre of her.....she appreciate whatever that he has done for hym and frm the bottom of her heart she wanted to say sorry cause she has trouble hym and burden hym......she know that now when he is out there.....he have many better gerls than her.............she even noe that he dislike her to give no to others and he also asked her to change her no.......and she do it..........but she get to noe that he give no to sumone...........she just smile and deep inside theres a millions tears hidden......
im sorry.....
*the gerl*

Being in relationship  thought me alot of things.........

The sweet moment that should be cherish and the hurtful momonet that cant be forgotten.....

love come sincerely on the bottom of ur hearts....it can be force.....love makes u be afraid of getting hurts....when u are in love with sumone ,u just cant stop thinking of them.......u need them by ur side every moment.....u feel safe and comfort when they are near u......dnt ever treat ur loves one lyke a srew driver which u only take them out when u need to screw sumtinz...when u need them..orelse  it will be keep in a tool box and being lock in the store.......

why when u have an arguement u tend to scold them...ditch them .....and throw all the harsh werds to ur love ones...??u even can look down on them.......i just dont understand why u have the heart to look down on them and critic them when acually u are with them.......

when u are with ur peeps u tend to forget them......u need to understand one another .......if ones is a fire.....the other should be the water........never ever  put high hope on the one u loves cause one day they will make u disappointed......they tend to find others more then u when u had an arguement wit them....

being in rlatonship teaches me to be patient..to endure and make me stonger and stronger to face the cuming obstacles.....when u love sumone u will tend to put ur heart and soul....and u trusted them full heartedly.....but sumtimes the break ur trust for them....trust is lyke paper that i easily crumbled.......

when they betray u....they lie to u.........they ignore u..they hurts u.....ur heart just broke into pieces.....

some feel lyke running away....some will revenge but only some will cry and let they be the only one that get hurts.......why cant we be treated lyke an human being that have feelings???we are not a toy which is heartless.......why cant we try not to hurts others......?

being in a relationship is bcorz u need sumone to care for u...lurve u......be a listening ears for u.....accompany u in ur  lyfe and bring the happy moment together ....it isnt abt hating them and hurting them.......

Bby please dnt hurt me .....:(

                                      

Dearest smurfy........

how should i phrase it..........bie...i just wanna sae that our arguement start bcorz of the outing.....u plan the outing and i really look forward for that day but end up it is just a disappoinment for me........if u noe u want werk then why u plan and gif false hope bie....???i bet u also dnt lyke last min chamge of plans ryte..........and bcorz of this u say this will be the last u cntct me???wat acually u want to say???and for the first tyme u talked to me lyke that...be do u noe that that hurts alot.......i have never expect the one that i love have the heart to say to me lyke tat...........u really dnt have too....im sorrie for making u love me and im sorrie for  making u having me in ur lyfe......im sorrie......u swear that u wont let me down for the second tyme but  now u really do.....and that hurts alot alot.......thx bby for everytinz and sorrie for all that have gone wrong.....u will be happier now aites.......remember although im far frm u bck i always lurve u.......t cre......:'(

To my dearest yanii.........
firstly i wanna say sorrie for not replying ur msg yesterdae cause i slip already ....den i wan reply u aft i woked up but i scared if that is not ur no.......so i writ down here at my blog.....if u came by to read my blog......i wanna sae.....i mad at u that tyme bcorz the day before u top up smurfy hp.....u were otp with me......and before u put down the phone u said that u will get thru me to pass msg to smurf......that y i waited.......and get to noe frm smurfy the nxt day saying that u top up for hym just to otp with hym.......yanii ....adyla tak mrh pon kalo yanii nk bbl ngan smurf cause adyla tawu yg yanii tak adr intention laen....and i believe that.......u only want to asked for help......kalo yaniii org top up kn hp mataer yanii just to tok to hym....yanii mrh tak......??i understand ur situation dear......adyla tak suke psl ya nii ckp laen tapy yanii uat laen....u say u will get thru me to pass msg to smurf but end up u top up his hp and tok to hym ask for help.......and what i wrote earlier at my blog saying that dnt let others interfere to our rlationship....i was trying to sae that dnt let  other to solve the prob ....do u noe that .....me and smurf argue just bcorz i was defending u while he was defending ating......haiss......n listen here...although i am mad at u tat tyme....i dnt have any grudges  on u........i styll regards u s my frenz.....and dnt worry im not bragging abt this animore...wat past is past aites bby......im sorrie if  i was harsh.......t cre aites....n promise me u wnt do stupid stuff eventhough u are down.........
adyla......

Message receive on 19 oct 2010.......
1.41 a.m..
"BBY....
I WANNA CNFESS SUMTIN...NOWDAYS ,I DUNNOE WAT,I DUNNOE WHY I TEND 2 MISS U EASILY...EVEN THOUGH I TEND 2 GET IRRITATED BY U SUMTIMES,I TEND 2MISS THE CUTE SMILE OF URS,UR EYES,UR BBY FACE,N WAT I MISSES MOST IS WHEN U SULK...I MISS THOSE THINGS WHENEVER URE NOT WIT ME...ALL THIS TINGS HAD REALI MADE ME HARD TO LET GO OF U...I LOVE U BBY...I LOVE U...THX FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE 2 LOVE U,I SWEAR TO GOD I WUD NOT LET U DOWN FOR THE SECOND TYME...U HAVE WON MY HEART LYK NO ONE USE 2....CONGRATS HONEY....NOW SLIP TYTE KAY?CNT WAIT 2 MYT U....."
And today when u meet me......it tends to be that u are not showing what u said......just now check on his hp as usual......then i knew that his frenz had msg hym just now...but when i check the msg is gone.....so i ask hym nicely says that'u delete msg npk?'den he started to  raise his voice at me....wow..!!thx aites.......dislike ppl does tat to u but u tend to do it at others........aft that he open the gate  and walked off lyke that..........u want show ur attitude to me????might as well dnt txt me lyke this earlier......msg bbl baek2.......dah jumpe prangai last warning........k fine........u want to create a scene ..........den up to u.........u always says but u never proof wat u says.......hate me to go off just lyke but now u doing that do me.....really thx ........!thx for everythinz...!gdbye.......

i just dont get it......why must u get thru hym  wen acually u can get thru me.....lyke wth xia.....u did to the extend ouhkayyy......yes...i know that u wanted to ask hym for help but .....but u told me the day before....u will get thru me if u want hym to help.....i bet u will be mad also if   sumone did that to ur loves ones......nie bkn jealous......im not even jealous that u want to tok to hym or wat so ever.....corz i noe u dnt have any intention....but the way u asking for help is way way beyond the limit.....and i noe that u are down ryte now bcorz of hym.....but be strong...u need to talk tinz out wit hym.....lyke u use to advise me.......dnt easily gif  up ........u need to be firm once awhile.....u just cnt be thw water  every tyme.....stand for ur ryte...........haisss........if u came by to read my blog.....just wanna say.....  u tcre......u must try to handle tinz out....n dnt let others to interfere........


                          lately .....he txt me lyke as if i dnt have feeling......for instant..just now  he txt me  very sarcasticly just bcorz i dnt txt hym aft i finish skewl.....he dnt even noe the real story yet he wants to get mad........i didnt txt u bcorz ma batt is flat.....see for urself....u also did not txt me wen u already with ur frenz....but i dnt make a fuss.....and now u showing attitude towards me.....aper nie????u really change alot......when i txt u ,u did not reply....den might as well dnt need to top up ur hp...am i ryte......but when it is ur peeps tat txt u ,immediately u will reply them..........u are way way much diff now...!!!i kinda dislike the changes in u now......i can see that u only finds me when u need me or else u wont.....im tired of being the victim......u wont realise ur mistake.....u wont!!!i  always  control my anger,my disappoinment and my sadness toward u.......but u dnt even give a damn.....now u want to start  avoiding........if u tink u want to avoid frm me....might as well i bck off and u dnt have to find me animore.......u really giving me hint that u want me to bck off......i have nvr treated u soo badly...the way u treated me....i have  never..!.but u never appreciate me....u taking me for granted.....u  regards me lyke as if im a toy that can be thrown away want u dnt need it animore......u never realise....never...!the harsh werds that came out fr ur mouth.....u dnt realise......tcre if i am no longer dere........:('
*ppl wont realised  that they are hurting sumone until u lost that sumone u love.....*

why suddenly he treats me lyke this....????been crying the whole day longs....asking my self  what i have i done ......why is he avoiding me????is he really  leaving me.....???i really need to sumone to be by my side now.....im sooo down .....nothing can cheer me up......the last msg that he sent to me is....'if u tink u hate me more than u love me,den leave me...maybe ur love is not wit me...maybe ur ex understands u betta...if we were to be parted,trust me bby, i wnt be shocked...cos i noe it will happen sumday..."how would u feel when ur love ones txt u lyke this......???i am sure u will tink is he leaving you......haiss!!!
aper slh i bie....???smpi u sanggop uat i mcm manusia yg tkder perasaan......im just hurt with the way u treating me........bby.....i want an ans frm u.....i will be waiting......:('
misshing sumone that im not sure is misshing me......

bby...u have never appreciate what i have done fer u......is always question me what i have done......today ..in the morning.....suddenly receive a msg frm hym saying this...'bsk kte mit...then wen u start skola,kte tq mit..lau bley,once in awhile kte aru jumpe"never!in the whole entire abt 8 mths we are together he said this to me.....n this was the first tyme.....before this he always wanted to meet me lyke everyday.....suddenly with this changes...what up......i was so speechless....all kind of thoughts is playing in my mind......maybe he have sumone else??maybe he is sick and tired of meeting me??maybe he wants to get rid of me????and maybe i have never been a gd gf fer hym.....and now.....when i txt hym....he will either not reply or he reply late.....lyke wat wrong wit u???at tyme u are ouhkayyy...and at tyme u are not......haisss!!!now...he dnt even txt me.....he finds me when he is bored......or not with his peeps....it is as if im in rlationship wit sumone else...it is just not u......the old smurfy that always wanted me to be wit hym all the tyme....the smurfy who will find me when i am not with hym......you said u need me but accualy u dnt............u just dnt mean what u said........i knew deres more to come....n now  ...when we had an arguement......the  word 'leave'will always appear.....why?????u really want me to leave u????u will only realise when the one u love leave u???haiss!!!bby u are not the same......im just hurt with the way u are now.........i wil missh u so badly......love u haizel bin rosman......i really need u now.....:('

Yesterday....aft meet my dearest love at orchard......i went to meet my long lost bestie,aida....at somerset.....it has been a long tyme we have not met as both of us are bz with our stuff......she has just came bck frm medan,trip with her skewl....n she is getting darker and darker....hahhah....tak lamer agy jady ank india.....heee.....anw....thx love for the wallet that u bought fer me.....

I KEEP WONDERING WHY MUST WE PROMISE TO SUMONE EVENTHOUGH YOU CANT FULFILL UR PROMISES.....U JUST MAKE THE OTHER PARTIES HEARTBROKEN,SAD,DISAPPOINTED AND MAD AT U.....

IS IT THAT HARD TO DO WHAT U HAVE PROMISE?

HE ALWAYS PROMISES ME ALOT OF THINGS...BUT END UP HE DOES NOT FULFILL IT....I JUST CANT TELL HYM HOW I FEEL SUMTIMES....INSTEAD OF ME GETTING MAD...HE WILL BE THE ONE THAT IS MAD.....HAISSS!!

HE KEEP ON RAISING HIS VOICE AT ME....AND WHEN I DO THE SAME THINGS TO HYM...HE WILL SHOW HIS ATTITUDE....IM JUST TRYING TO MAKE U HAPPY   BUT IT SEEMS U DNT APPRECIATE IT.....SEDEY KANN......PPL SAID THAT IF THEY HAVE A REPLACEMENT THEY WILL TREAT THEIR CURRENT ONES DIFFERENTLY.....IS THAT TRUE???SO DOES THIS MEAN THAT HE HAVE SUMONE ELSE???

EVERYTYME WHEN HE IS NOT WITH ME......I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT HE IS DOING......I TRY TRUST HYM....BUT WHEN EVERY TYME THE TRUST HAS GAIN BACK....HE MAKE IT LOSS AGAIN.....FOR INSTANT.....I JUST FIND OUT THAT HE DARE TO LIE TO ME RECENTLY........WHEN I GET TO NOE THE TRUTH......SERIOUSLY HE BREAK MY HEART DOWN.....BUT I DNT SHOW IT  CAUSE HE WONT CARE.........INSTEAD I SMILE......BUT DEEP INSIDE.....NO ONES NOE HOW I REALLY FEELS......IF HE DARES TO LIE TO ME NOW.....WHAT ABT IN THE FUTURE???IS DERE MORE TO COME???

PPL DO CHANGE AS TYME CHANGE.....U TAKING ME FOR GRANTED........MAYBE ONCE U LOSS ME THEN  U WILL CHANGED.......SUMTIMES I JUST FEELS THAT U DNT NEED ME TO BE WITH U......U CAN STYLL GO ON WITHOUT ME.......:(

DISAPPOINMENT..........

ppl seems to change as time goes by.......recently also get scolded frm hym.....dunnoe why.....every little tinz he tends to get mad easily and tend to raise his voice to me.....before this he nvr evr raise his voice to me...and now he does!!!sad kn kn.....haisss!!!!!kadang-kadang i syg u....kdg-kdg i benci u...kdg2 i geram ngan u....haisss....!!!.....sumtimes i just dnt feel the  respect anymore.....u find me wen u need me orelse u wont........wat to do....in rlationship deres ups and downs.....u nvr appreciate wat u have now......'im sorry bby...imysm...i wont take u for granted....ily...'tis is wat u stated earlier.......are u sure u really mean wat u say.....anw....im jus disappointed tat u lie to me....if mama tkder i dnt tink i will noe till todae.......dnt understand why u have to lie to me???...i have nvr lie to u...every little tinz i will tell u......if u dare to start to lie to me now.....what abt the future....???is dere more to come....????what do u get  if u lie to me???money????U GET NOTHING!!!NOTHING!!!haisss.....and abt wat u told me abt work.....im not sure if tat the best u get werk.....but till wen u want to live in that world????i want u earned money by sumthinz else.....deres alot of jobs vaccancy that u can get or apply......its the matter of fact u want it or dnt......but if u choose to do that jobs still.....one tinz that i can sae.....u noe wat i like and wat i dislike so......if u choose wat that i dnt want u to do....then i tink  we cnt get along with each other......all i want is the best for u.....and i dnt want anytinz bad to happened to u.......haisss....!!!!i want a guys to lead me the way but not the other way round......i love you  bby........!

unappreciated????

bby....if u have not realised...sometimes ur werds...the way u talk to me,the way u treat me do hurt me alot....every silence of mine...has sumtinz hidden behind it...almost 7 mths plus u wit me...i tink u should noe me really well now ...am i ryte....?haiss...i just cant trust u when u are not wit me...cause i dnt wantthe same tinz repeats again....to tell u the truth...nowdays u tend to easily get mad wen u dnt get what u wanted and u lyke to throw tantrums and show attitude towards me....why???am i tat cruel???have i ever ever done sumtinz that is so bad towards u???have i ever betrayed u??have i ever dont bother abt ur feelings??have i???bie...all i ever wanted is for u to prove me that u can be sumone that succeed and diff frm the rest....hais!!

i love you!!!

I HATE IT WHEN YOU LIE!!!

FIRSTLY I WANT TO SAE THANK ALOT FOR FOLLOWING ME GO JLN  RAYE WITH MY FRENZ......AND I NVR EXPECTED THAT U HAVE TO GO JUST LYKE THAT....U SAE THAT U ARE TIRED AND U HAVE TO GO HOME......BUT ACCUALI U WANTED TO GO OUT..MIT THEM.....N NOW USAID THAT ACCUALI DRG ADER HAL TAT Y U HAVE TO GO JUST LYKE THAT......ABEH ADR HATI KATER NK GY IKOT BAI UAT GAME CARD.....U LIED TRO ME!!!!!U TKNK I RISAU BY SAYING THAT.....HEY.....IM I UR GF OR AM I UR FRENZ......?NIE U KATER SSH SAMER2...SNG,,SAMER2.....EIK I NOE THEY ARE UR BLOOD....U NEED THEM MORE THEN U NEED ME....SSH SNG DRG BLH TLG...U NOE THEM MUCH LONGER THAN U NOE ME....ERR!!!...THIS IS UR LIFE......U WANT TO LIFE IT THIS WAY.....SO......I SERIOUSLY GIVE UP ON U.......HALANG ORG YG TAK MUNGKIN AKN DGR.....SO MIGHT AS WELL I SHUT UP.......SERIOUSLY......MY PATIENCE HAS A LIMIT......I TRY MAKE UP EVERY SINGLE THINGS TO U BUT U.....HAIS...NVRM......N U THINK IM PEACEFUL HERE AT HOME THINK WAT MIGHT HAPPENED TO U........I HATE THIS LIFE.......KNAPER SSH SGT ORG NK PAHAM....PPL MRH...BISING ...PSL ORG SYG.....KALO TAK......I WONT BOTHER TO EVEN TINK ABT U.........U LIE TO ME......N I HATE PPL THAT LIES......!!!KALO NIE HOW U WANT BEHAVE.....DEN I TINK...FRM NOW ON.....KALO I SSH MCM ANER PON...I WONT TELL U........I MAKE  SURE...I  SOLVE IT O0N MY OWN.......TODAE IS MY BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN U.....!

I BCK OFF ...!

STARTING FRM TODAE ONWARDS......NOW..........I BCK OFF

.....

SORRIE THAT I HAVE TORTURED UR LIFE BY BEING JEALOUS.........

U WANT DO ANYTHINZ NOW.....PAPE LAR TAK KESAH....CNTCT SAPE2....MSG SAPER2.....I WONT SAE ANYTINZ......GO AHEAD!!!

U WANT TALKED ABT I DNT CARE ABT UR FEELING???TAK PERNAH?????PIKIR BTOL2.......THEN HAVE U EVER CARE ABT MY FEELING???PERNAH KE???

U SAID U TRIED TO GAIN MY TRUST BCK???THIS HOW U SHOW IT TO ME??KAYY DNT SIMPLE LAR......

U DNT NEED TO BOTHER  ABT ME......WAT IMPORTANT NOW.....U HAVE UR FREEDOM.........UR PATIENCE HAVE FADE AWAY???KAYY DEN....FRM NOW ON....DNT BOTHER AITES.....CORZ I PROMISE THAT I WONT  AND I WILL NOT INTERFERE IN UR LIFE AITES.......IM SRE U WILL BE HAPPY NOW.....U GET WAT U WANT...........ONCE AGAIN IM SORRIE FOR ALL THAT TORTURING AND JEALOUSY FOR U.......

FISHY!FISHY!FISHY!

TRUST????HMM......U MAKE ME DNT TRUST U MORE AND MORE........WHY???THE WAY U ACT.....THE WAY U TREAT ME.......THE WAY U TXT ME......THE WAY U TALK TO ME....

.

ALL HAVE CHANGED.....!ARE THE LOVE FADING AWAY FOR ME???OR ARE U SICK

AND TIRED OF ME???I WONDER......CAUSE THERE IS ALOT OF

CHANGES IN U TAT I HAVE KEPT TO MYSELF.........

WHY IS IT HARD FER ME TO TRUST U???

I GIVE U CHANCE TO PROVE ME TAT U CN GAIN MA TRUST BCK

BUT

I STYLL CAN GET OVER IT......WHY IAM SO JEALOUS WITH EVERY BITS THAT U DONE.....THE JEALOUSY FOR U IS SO SO SO DAMN STRONG......I DNT NOE WHY.....

I WISH AND I HOPE TO GET TAT FEELING OVER IT SO TAT DERE IS A FREEDOM TO WATEVER U WANT DO.......

I REALLY REALLY TRYING MY BEST TO THROW THAT FEELING OF JEALOUSY FOR U.....

SO TAT I WONT FEEL MISERABLE.....HAISS!:(

what have i done???

Have i done anythinz wrong to u????what's up with the sarcastics and anger voice????i called u to talked to u but u talked to me lyke as if u  are shouting to me.....but wen i told u that.....u deny......u said that u talk to me nicely.....cumon....i have known u abt 6 mth plus.....i noe wen is ur normal voice and when it is diff.....haiss...!i dnt get it why lately u tend to get mad......mad abt what???i myself did not noe.....asyik aku yg dimrh......the changed in u........it is lyke as if it is not the same hubby that i have noe before.....:(.....u no more that loving ,caring and sweet spokened guy that i have known......:(haiss.....i miss hym....

SUMTIMES U ARE HAPPY BUT AT TIMES U ARE NOT

BBY.....WHAT  WRONG WITH U????ARE U HIDING SUMTINZ FRM ME OR WAT???NOWDAYS U TEND TO GET MAD EASILY......UR MOOD IS UNPREDICTABLE......U TEND TO BE HAPPY  BUT AT TIMES U ARE NOT.....WHY????WHAT'S UP WITH THE DIFFERENT IN U????HAVE I DONE ANYTHINZ WRONG????IF YES.....IM SORRIE!!!...I DUNT WANT U TO HIDE ANYTHINZ FRM ME.....I DNT!HAISS...!!!ANW......ABOUT UR TUMBLIR....IM GUESS U ARE RYTE...IM EXPECTING ALOT FRM U.......IM SORRIE......!I JUST WANT THE BEST FER US.......I TRY TO LET U GO.....FREEDOM FOR U.....BUT I CANT......CAUSE...EVERY BITS THAT U DONE WILL TEND TO RISE JEALOUSY FRM ME....HAISSS.....!!IF ONLY I CAN THROW AWAY THAT FEELING.......IM SURE U WILL BE HAPPY FRM DEN ON..........IM SORRIE...........

LOVING U IS A PLEASURE & 

                     I NEED TO TREASURE YOU.......

THX FOR BEING SO CONCERN....

firstly u dnt mean what u sae...and now u talked to me lyke showing attitude.....

what wrong wit u?????for  the whole six mths plus....today is the day u really really show that u dnt gif a damn on me....wahliao.....nie bukan nk ungkit ke aper.....bler kau saket.....aku jage kau maha jage......smpi aku pon fall sick.....but now wen aku saket....nie mcm kau layan aku.....thx.......u really knocked me in the head hard.....make me realise.....'K PAPE,TQYA BUANG MASE BBL PANJANG2 EYK.NQ DTQ,DTQ,TQNQ SUDAH.ABES CITE"this is wat u sae to me..........wat u guys feel if ur guy talk to u lyke tis????sedey kn????am i ryte.......n sumore wen u are sick lagy.......haisss...!wat a day i have to beginnig wit...........u tearing me apart......thx alot......i will remember tis dayy......:(:(:(:(:(:(:(::((::(

 LOOKING FORWARD FOR WHAT U SAID

I WAS SICK AND THAT WHY I WANTED U TO FETCH ME BCORZ MA BODY IS WEAK .U SAID TO ME THAT U WILL FETCH ME AT AMK EARLIER  BUT NOW U ASKED ME TO COME DERE BY MYSELF...IS THIS HOW U SHOW UR CONCERN BIE???I REALLY WANT TO MEET U CAUSE NXT WK BOTH OF US ARE SKEWLING AND SUMORE U ARE WERKING...WHERE GOT TYME TO MEET ....IM JUST ASKING U A SIMPLE FAVOUR THAT IS TO FETCH ME NOT EVEN AT MY HOUSE ITS HALFWAY OF THE JOURNEY...IF IM NOT SICK I WONT BURDEN U TO EVEN FETCH ME...I CAN GO DERE MY OWN...HAISS!I EVEN CALLED U....BUT U DIDNT ANSWERED..Y?CAUSE U ARE SLEEPING....U WENT HOME IN THE MORNING AND U WANT TO MEET ME AND YET U WILL BE SLEEPING....MIGHT AS WELL I LET U SLEEP N DNT BOTHER U...SO WE DNT MEET.....IN THE EVENING U WANT TO MEET UR FRENZ ALREADY...MIGHT AS WELL I STAY AT HOME ...I WONT BE DISTURBING OR BURDEN ANYONE ....HAISS......JUST HAVE A GD SLEEP....TCRE.....:(

TYME CHANGED,PEOPLE CHANGED

Just now accompany my dearest hubby to bugis street to buy shirts.....Then aft buying his stuff...we went to KFC to eat  our dinner.....when eating...we had a slight arguement.....since yesterdae he have been draging his feeling towards me.....org laen yg salah....aku yg kene....and he scold me over a food....and when i tegor hym....he lyke dnt lyke......he slam his drinks on the table......tat was the first tyme he did tat to me.....:(......tyme changed...ppl changed.........and yet......to get rid of me....he sent me home.........soooo sad xia.......y suddenly he lyke tat??????he soooo bad.............u soo mean to me nowdays........:(:(:(:(:(:(.....u dnt love me animore.............

sickening!!!!

otp wit smurfy just now......and suddenly i gets irritated by his action.....u only have that amount of money and u styll want play lan........i dont might luh if u want play or watsover crap but come on luh tink!!!!tink!!!u only have that few dollars....might as well u used it to keep ur tummy full.....its true lar that money can find but u are not using it wisely.....errrr!!!ssh luh nk tegor....bkn nyer nk dgr.....and he styll can sae  to me 'u want i maen lan ke angkat power'wth!!!this is too much......u used to promise to me that u wont take all tat stuff,stop drinking and no more tattooo ......but in fact u did get drunk and u styll draw on ur body........lie!lie!lie!haisss!!!!!ssh luh nk tegor org yg stubborn....big rock sitting on that head of urs!!!!!aft all u are big enuf to tink wats ryte and wat wrong......after all its ur money......up to u u want to do watever shit with it.......i have to admit that i prefer talking to u in person rather than otp..........btol mama saes"dier ader angin......bler mood ouhkayyy,t dier baek lar sgt2......tpy bler angin taufan dier dtg,sumer dier nk tiup......mengamok 2....'

Fuck lar xia!!!!!!!mepek bdh kau!!!!!its just a stupid topic the 3 of us tok abt n we take it as a joke...yg kau nk melebih asl plak???...asl kau tak lei terime ???!!!!mcm kau uat slh plak???!!!its a stupid pic tat was being tagged and we ppl cmmted on it.......tak slh aperr???!!!!!fb tak kater pon tak lei bbl thru cmmt???does it??.!!!kayy go eikk!!!if kau tak bbl tu mcm.....aku tak psl....nie kau dah bbl mcm siak....so aku cntinue knnn......sooo.... kalo lps nie kau nk gdh ngan aku psl bende ulu2 gynie.....terserah kayyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why should it end this way????

aft gone thru this far and now u are saying this to me???where are all ur promises????where bby??!is it mean to be a lie....are we cuming to an end????to sae frankly....its true that we often gone thru ups and down but i thoughts that we can go thru it together but u show me that u dont.....its is part and parcel of  being in rlationship ....although  deres alot of tyme wen u really blow my patient of but i styll holding on to u cause i really really lurve u and being apart is quite dificult for me....once i lurve sumone ....its hard for me to let them go....i agreed that i am over controling maself.....thinz had happened once and i dont want it to happens twice.....u understand me ryte???i try to talked tinz out wit u but u tend to get mad and cant face the fact wat im telling u.....that y im tend to keep to maself....how should i phrase it......hmmm....kayyy seriously the way u txt me earlier does hurt me deeply....bie....!its obvious that u want me to leave u ryte........???????u should asked urself y im acting differently to u recently......the way u txt,the way u treat me and stuff has changed.....for gd at tyme and bad recently......but y???!!i dnt hate u......i dnt.....ma action is asking and trying to changed u to a better ones but bie.....u dnt and u cnt accept the way im delivering it....im sorrie bby.....and for now.....wat u really really want frm me now????????dnt lie urself if u cant cause it will just hurt sumone else.....i dont noe why but im soooo soooo sad ryte now......:(if holding me on is a burden.....then let me gooo......i wont force u to stay wen ur heart is not dere with me........make ur decision wisely and dnt regret ........haisss.....if only u were in ma shoes.....:(:(:(:(:(

what a pathetic day of mine....

Today early in the morning went aljunied meet smurfy at wan's house.Mengong and aidil is dere too...Early in the morning started with a slight arguement with hym....i was telling hym abt what me ,yanii and ohneyt  comment at one of the pic that i dislike.....then suddenly he lyke cnnt get the fact ......then he lyke scold2 me  and  then he left me like that and he go wan house first cause at that tyme we are buying food.....heee...cnnt fast....:P.....then aft that i kept quite cause im a bit fuck up...then aft that...smurfy pujok me...heee....then i ouhkayyy already .....then....my forever 21 cardigen was thown....luckily smurfy saw it......then smurfy sew it for me....heee...thx bby....!aft that we take a nap.....suddenly went i awake i saw 'ika siow'.....been wanting to talked to her abt sumtinz i heard....but den she left.....then i awaked hym but he mrh2 me....:(asyik kene mrh jek aku nie.....haiss...!then went down awhile to buy drink with smurfy ...and saw ika....aper lagy....i approached her lor.....and asked her......but wat make me mad.....wen tat tyme smurfy told me abt tis,then when i confronting her and i asked smurfy..he sae he did not noe.....wth sei!!!!and wat make it worse when ika talked to me lyke 'BIG FUCK" lyke that.......wah liow....!!!!ni nau yah!!!!nie org2 nie.....kter baek ngn drg.....drg pijak2 kpale kter......!then...aft that ,in the evening..went to hospital visit smurfy's dad....otw dere inside bus..he make me paiseh xia....he sae 'dah nk tron'den i get up frm ma sit ....skali he maen2 jek....lyke...ppl sumer tgk kn....kalo kter uat dier tawu dier marah....hmmm....dier ajer uhk yg btol lar kn......aft that went home while he went aljunied to changed his pants first b4 heading to bazaar with frenz......hmmm.....to sae frankly.....i dnt trust hym....if im not wit hym....cause tat is wen he will do and create nonsense.......mengatal ke tak...i might not noe....cause guys...are guys.....i noe how they will react.....hmmm.....hopefully he noe how to behave.....ouhkayy bby...maybe im jealous or controlling u izzit???haiss.....tat y i dnt lyke when i really love that sumone.....cause i will then to get sensitive easily.....cause the love is do deep....haisss!!!and one more thinz that i notice when he meets his frenz or when im not wit hym......he dnt really look for me recently....kalo i nvr txt hym ..he wont....now also....kalo reply ma msg sumer pendek2.....hmm???is he trying to hint me or show me sumtinz?????????it keeps me wondering and wondering....that is the reason for me to be gazing away each tyme when im alone.....haiss....:(are ma existence  bothering u????if yes.....im sorrie......:(:(:(

 FeeLing toTalLy  BORED!BORED!BORED!

Today spent my whole day at home ....help my mum clean her room....now left only the living room to be clean....hmmm....soo tired but at the same tyme soo bored.....today cnnt met ma bby....to day den meet hym...anw....i hope that baba is alryte....hmmm....been txting hym the whole day but he did nt reply...tdo memanjang....kalo dah tdo tak igt dunie luh ....hmmm....nxt wk dah start skewl....then fri is my exam....cpt pek...!!!!haiyooo!!!!styll in holiday mood xia....hmmm...so freaking bored lar xia....what to write sumone also im not sure..hahhax!hmm...write again soon..:P

                               What wrong wit YOU???                                  
seriously i dont understand wat wrong wit u.......at times u tend to be happy and at times u tend to be grumpy.....when even we are in gd condition,sumtimes u tend to throw tantrums at me.....why????bler uat slh mrh,bler tak uat slh pon mrh ????haisss......wats wrong wit this world?????6  mths has past....we should noe each other better and  less argument.....but nie????just now when i meet u....u were totally  cheerful and u treat me so gd.....and then when im bck home........txt to u...u reply bck sumer pendek2.....den otp pon bbl lyke nak tak nk.......haisss...!!!did i do sumtinz wrong?????if i do.....im sorrie EDY.....:(
all i ever wanted is to be happy wit u..anw thx for making ma day bie.......I LURVE MA BBY....!

LOVE ME WITHOUT FEAR,TRUST ME WITHOUT RESTRICTION,WANT ME WITHOUT DEMAND,ACCEPT ME WHO I AM...

WONDERING WHY PPL TEND TO BE BRAVE TO TALK BCK BUT COWARD WHEN CONFRONT????
I DNT GET IT WHAT HER MOTIVE.......SHE TRYING TO LOVE/LIKE EACH ONE OF THE GUYS????KIWAK LUH.....FIRST TYME IN MA WHOLE LIFE I HEARD PMPN SAE 'TKPER'EVENTHOUGH SHE NOES THAT GUYS ARE MAKING USED OF HER......MURAH SGT PEK DEKNIE?????HAIYOOOO!!!!!JATOOH MARTABAT KAUM PMPN.....!!!!PRANGAI STOP IT LUH.......U ACTING LYKE 1 DESPERATE GURL TAWU TAKK.....TAK MALUU KER......SMPI KN DUE2 KWN AKU NK KAU.....HAIYOOOO.....U SAE PRANGAI TAKMAU MCM ADEKK2.....BUT HELLOOO !!!DO U NOE THAT U ACTING LYKE ONE.....THE FACT APER...KAU MASEH ADEK2 AGY......PIKIRAN BLM MATANG.....BRANI BBL BLAKANG..TAPY FACE TO FACE TAWU PLAK KAU COL.....HERAAAN UHK.............GET A LYFE GERL........KALO KAU TREAT ORG TKDER CARE.....ORG WILL TREAT KAU MCM GYTU JGK TAWU......AND GET THIS IN UR HEAD KAYY KWN.....DNT BCORZ OF A GUY ,KAU NK GDH.........SIAK UHK KAU......MATAER ORG PON KAU NK....????KAU NIE APER PUKI MISKIN KEPER???????MALUUU SAK AKUUU......TGK KAUUU......HAISSS!!!!!AKU RASE UMOR KAU BLM LAGY MATANG UHK NK PIKIR NIE SUMER......HAIYOOO!!!!AND GET THIS IN UR HEAD......TAKMAU NK MSG2 SMURF OR KOL HYM......KALO AKU DPT TAWU KAU TUDOH DIER MCM2 EVENTHOUGH DIER TAK UAT PAPE KAT KAU......KAU SIAP....!!!ANW IF LAR KN U READ MA BLOG AND U FIND THAT U ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH WAT I WROTE THEN BY ALL MEANS CARIK AKU KAYY..




        

PROMISE ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN..

im wondering why does ppl tend to make a promise when they cant even  hold on to it.....why can the promise made by them is easily broken???if u dnt mean wat u have promise then why in the first place is  spilt out the word 'PROMISE' .....for example ,sumone promise to u tat he wont go some event....BUT end up she /he go.....or he/she said that he/she wont drink or smoke  BUT end up they do it.......den why promise?????this is random....but im just wondering........do this ppl know how it feel like when u broke ur promises ?????or to be specific how the person that u have promised felt.........this is what we called it 'janji melayu'.....action more than words.....byk bbl byk bohong......if only this ppl know and mean what they have promised.......the world will be like heaven......and i could not understand why we need to say example 'demi u.....i tak akn uat nie.....demi u,i tak kn pegy' when eventually they will do and go.....why???why????who can tell me the perfect reason......???anione???we just need to be ourself may it infront of our frenz,family or even our bf/gf..........being urself and just urself is the best way  to make ppl love u......

BUKE WITH CLASSMATES AT LAU PA SAT

Today i break fast with ma fellow ITE peeps....meet up at raffles control station and then when off to lau pa sat.....at the eating place....im quite annoyed by the 'waiter'....they kept following us eventhough we said that we dnt want eat their stall's food....i ordered kway teow goreng which end up mcm tak mkn......wasted my 4 bucks....then we ordered satay lembu and ayam......end up the satay is not nice....all of us was like in the rush.....and tat why ordered food that is not nice....but after all enjoyed eating out with them......the ppl tat are with me was nadhrah,ain,fatz,nab,zee,syaheed,zaidi and najib..aft that we all camwhore......the pics are with ain....so blom upload yet.......more outing again hor.....:P

                      life is always full with ups and downs....                     


i wonder why must life full with ups and downs ,sometimes it is so wonderful and at time it  is just full with misery.........abt relationship???hmmm...trying to get better.......yesterday.....smurfy wanted to meet and we meet up at his place....on my way there.....i keep calling and calling hym but he did not ans as he is sleeping.....smurfy nie kalo dah tdo ltk bomb kat sblah pon tak sadar.....then when i reached there,i knocked at his door for a few time and styll try to call hym.....but he is styll happily sleeping......i felt annoyed and went down and sat at the bench.............i try calling hym for the last tyme and if he did not ans.....i will go bck home......luckily he ans.....and i saw hym went down the stairs.....when he awakes and realise that i give hym 48 miss call...he quickly went down to look for me.......swit lar pulak pat tu......heee......


but today.......when he came to my house........he suddenly moody......then mcm perangai gytu....haiyoooo...heran luh......sejap  ouhkayyy,sejap tak.......haisss!!!u say u want changed bby......but ....hmmmm...nvrm......but i believe u can......u just need time........as for long as i can i will  be there for u...........life is full with obstacles but we need to resolve it.............

ONCE I STARTS HATING YOU.....I WILL HATES YOU FOREVER.........FUCK OFF!!!!!

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THE RUMOURS THAT U HEARD FRM OTHER ABT YOUR LOVE ONES TEND TO BE TRUE??????I LEFT HYM FOR A WHILE AND I HEARD ALL KIND OF RUMOURS ABT HYM AND THAT BELOVED CUZZIN OF HIS......I DNT TRUST WAT I HEARD FULLY CORZ I NEED TO LISTEN TO BOTH PARTIES......THEN IT WILL BE FAIR.....AND I WAS DAMN SHOCK OR SHOULD I SAE DISAPPOINTED WEN HE SAE IT WAS TRUE.......TAK KE MCM SIAK????PELUK2???BARING KAT LAP???KISS HER CHEEKS????TU U SAE GURAU......?????NOW THEN I NOE.......I NOE UHK...SHE HAS BEEN WITH U SINCE U WERE SMALL ....AM I RYTE...??????N U NOE HER MORE THAN ME.....IF U TINK SHE IS THE ONE THAT IS BETTER FOR U.......THEN GO FOR HER.....SAPER KATER...CUZIN NGAN CUZZIN CANT FALL FOR EACH OTHER..........USED TO TOLD ME...DAH ADER MATAER ACT LYKE ONE BUT ARE U??????...DNT BCORZ OF HER......ONE DAY.....I HAVE TO LET U8 GOO.....WHICH GURL LYKE TO BE TREATED LYKE THIS......NO ONE....!CONCLUSION.....DNT PUT HIGH HOPE FOR THE ONES THAT U LURVE CORZ ONE DAY  YOU WILL EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED........

IM STRESS RYTE NOW...!

im stress ryte now....thinking abt mama,money,life and ma dearest smurfy....how i wish i can be happy lyke others....mama....i noe u are stress wit situation in the house..n u werk hard to support the family...n i noe to find money its difficult....i noe that....n i noe that u are disappointed with ur children but nevertheless...u support ur children....im sorrie that i have disappoint u.....i lurve u mama....!i try finding werk so that i can support myself and avoid asking mum for money .but its hard to find one as im skewling.....i want werk not for fun .....i want to werk to help out ma mum too....my life now is getting miserable....no ones knows....corz i tend to kept to myself....my life currently full with ups and down.....haiss....i cnt handle it much longer.....bby.....i dnt noe wat is wrong with u but wat i noe that u are diff lately......tend to get fuck up easily n stuff....im not sure y...is it bcroz of me or other reason.....i easily get scolded by u.....sumtimes we fought i dunnoe y.....suddenly u tend to throw tantrums at me.........u embarssed me ryte infront of ur fellow frenz.......but i keep quite.....i keep asking to myself wat have i done.....am i that cruel????dnt i have feeling lyke others ?????..haiss....bby....u dnt understand how i feel ryte now.....:(






and to ma dearest frenz im sorrie corz i drag feeling towards u....i dont mean to.....im stress....n u tend to add up to my burden.....im sorrie if ma werds just now are too harsh......im really really sorrie.....i hope u understand how i feel now........sorrie once again.....

THE WORST NATIONAL DAY CELEBRATION EVER...

JUST NOW I MIT YANII AT BEDOK INTERCHANGE BEFORE GOING TO TOWN AND MEET THE REST....I WORE HIGH HEEL CORZ YANII ASKED TO WEARED HEEL SAME WIT HER...SOO PAISEH XIA....WALKED AROUND THEN PPL KEEP LOOKING AT US.....HAIYA......THEN WHEN WE TOOK TRAIN TO GO MIT THE REST....A MAN LYKE PERVERT KEEP LOOKING AT ME AND YANII....IRRITATING XIA....SICK IN THE BRAIN....I AM A BIT FUCK UP WHEN WE REACHED CITY HALL....HE DONT EVEN FETCH ME....KLUH DNT SAE ABT FETCH,NOT EVEN CALL OR TXT ME WHERE AM I IN THE CROWDED PLACES.......THIS IS ONE OF THE POINT THAT SHOW U DNT EVEN CARE........WAS DAMN PIECE OFF BUT WHEN MIT HYM AND THE REST....AT FIRST HE DONT EVEN BOTHER TO TALK TO ME.....WALKED WIT HER.....LYKE WTH!!THX....IF I NOE THIS WILL HAPPEN I SWEAR THAT I WILL NOT GO OUT ..........AM I UR GF OR WAT??????I GUESS IM NOT...BUT SHE IS......EVEN YANII AND OHNEYT SAID THAT.......THEN WENT OFF TO GRANDLINK...ALEH2 HE PRANGAI WITH ME....C...WHO YG GO TO HYM AND PUJOK.......NVRM.....I HAD ENOUGH OF ALL TIS.....I AM NOT BEING RESPECTED AS UR GF.........BILER DAH KAT GRANDLINK.....I HAVE SOME PROB.....U DNT NOE RYTE...U JUST THROW ME WIT UR ANGER .......I JUST KEEP QUITE AND WENT OFF....U EMBARASSED ME INFRONT OF UR FRENZ BY THROWING TANTRUMS.........I TAWU MALU.....I AM NOT A DOG...EVEN DOG HAVE FEELING I GUESS....U WONT  BE SEEING ME.......U CN NOW SPENT UR TYME WIT UR FAMILY ,FRENZ AND CUZZIN......AS U USED TO SAE THAT U DNT REALLY HAVE THE TYME TO SPENT WITH THEM BCORZ OF ME RYTE......NOW U WILL........DOESNT MEAN THAT I KEEP SILENCE,IM OUHKAYY WITH EVERYTHINZ THAT HAPPENS INFRONT OF ME........I WONT SAE TO U ANIMORE WAT IS WRONG AND WAT IS RYTE...U CN DECIDE URSELF.......U HAVE SUMONE THAT CAN T CRE OF U MORE THAN I DO........ ..BEING DERE FOR U ISNT WAT U WANTED.....AM I RYTE..????ALSO JUST NOW...................RARA  SAE TO ME THAT SHE HEARD FRM MEIMEI..SMURF N ME DAH BREAK...WRH!DOWN XIA....I JUSY WANT U TO REALISE THAT I AM REALLY HEAR BY THE WAY U TREAT ME............U TCRE..........

I PRAY HARD NOTHING HAPPENED TO U

I HATE THIS TYME...ANOTHER 1 HOUR IS YOUR COURT CASE...I WANT TO BE DERE WITH U BUT U INSISTED...CORZ U DNT WANT IF ANYTHING HAPPENESTO U,IT WILL BE HARD FOR U TO C ME IN TEARS....BBY...HOW I WISH I CAN CHANGE THE TYME BCK TO THE PAST AND CORRECT U FRM UR MISDEED....HAISS....I PRAY HARD THAT NOTHING WILL HAPPENS TO U.....IF ANYTHINZ DOES HAPPENS....I WILL AND I SWEAR THAT I WILL WAIT FOR U....AND MY LURVE FOR U WONT CHANGE....EVENTHOUGH OUR ALMOST 6 MTHS TOGETHER HAVE GONE THRU THICK NAD THIN OF LIFE.....HAPPINESS AND MISERY.....BUT IM STYLL STANDING STRONG WITH U....I WISH  AND I HOPE THAT U WONT LEAVE ME....CORZ I REALLY NEED U....WHO ELSE I WANT TO TURN TO WHEN IM DOWN...WHEN I NEED SUMONE TO TALK TO...SAPER YG NK MANJE2 ,GURAU2 AND GDH2 WITH.......?PLZ DNT LEAVE ME......I LURVE U DY......!!!I WILL WAIT FOR UR CALL.....HOPEFULLY NOTHING  WILL BE CHARGE TO U...AMIN.....:(

I LURVE THEM...,

EVER SINCE THAT DAY....WE TEND TO GET CLOSER AND CLOSER....GO OUT TOGETHER,KAROAKE AT GRANDLINK AND STUFF ...NICE KNOWING  U TOO YANNI BBY AND RISHA...:pLUV U GUYS....AND TO MA DEAREST YANNI....THX FER THE MSG THAT U HAD SENT ME EARLIER.....ABT ME AND SMURFY......THX FOR UR CONCERN.....AND TAT IS SO SWIT....EVENTHOUGH IT IS JUST A  MSG....BUT THE CONTENT OF THAT MSG REALLY TOUCHES ME DEEPLY.....AWWW....THX!!!!


AND TO MA DEAREST BBY BOY......WATEVER HAPPENES TO U TOMOLO I WILL AND I SWEAR THAT I WILL WAIT FOR U....AND MA LUV FOR U WILL NOT CHANGE .....I PRAY HARD THAT NOTHING HAPPENS TO U BBY......I WILL BE DERE FER U.......AND HOPEFULLY U WILL BE DERE FER ME TOO........I LUV U....!!!!
                                                                                                                                               LUV SINCE 240210                                         

THE BEGINNING WAS HAPPY BUT THE ENDING WAS SAD

YESTERDAY WENT OUT WITH SMURFY TO WATCH 'STREET DANCE'...THE TICKET IS SELLING FAST SO ONLY LEFT WITH THE FRONT ROW THAT AVAILABLE FOR THE SEATS...AFTER ALL...NOT BAD UHK THE MOVIE.....:p
THEN YESTERDAY ALSO TON WITH SMURFY,YANNI,ATING,BAI ,ADAM AND WAN......EVERYTHING GOES SO SMOOTHLY WHEN SUDDENLY I SAW SMURFY DRUNK.....WTH!!!U SAE TO ME THAT U WONT DRINK ANYMORE ABEH NIE APER????I KEPT QUITE CAUSE I DNT WANT TO RUIN THE DAY......AND THEN SHE TXT HYM.....JUST TALKED ABT HER TO YANNI....DEN ALEH2 MSG.....ERRR...!




I CANT TAKE ANYMORE AND I CRIED.......THEN TALKED TO SMURFY PRIVATELY......BUT ITS LYKE NOT PRIVATE CAUSE HE IS LYKE SHOUTING AND HIS FRENZ CAN HEARD IT......
I WAS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED ......ALOT OF THINGS HE SAID TO ME.....HE TOLD ME TAT HE DRINKS BCORZ BAI OFFERED HYM.....THEN Y SELAME NIE PPL OFFERED U ,U CN SAE TAK NK....THEN AT THE FIRST PLACE Y,WHY U SAE TO ME TAT U PROMISE U WONT DRINK....SUMPAH2 LAGY....U BREAK UR PROMISE...UR PROMISE ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN......


THEN I TOLD HYM TAT ...I CNT STAND THE WAY SMURFY AND SHE TXT EACH OTHER.......MMG LUH KRG COUSIN.....MMG KRG DAH KNL LAMER....I KNEW TAT....BUT U EXPECT ME TO TINK AND FEEL WHEN  KRG TXT ADR SYG2....BIE2.......U CANT BLAME ME FOR WAT  TAT  I TINK.....CAUSE THINZ HAS HAPPENED LAST TYME...WHEN I FULLY TRUSTED U...END UP U AND THAT AYUMI GOT SUMTHINZ ON.....NOW....IM JUST BEING CONCIOUS.....AM I WRONG????AKU  NIE MATAER KAU....SLH KE KALO AKU RASE LAEN WHEN BOTH OF U TXT TAT WAY?????I AM A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.......I HAVE FEELING TOO.....DOLLY IF U WERE IN MA SITUATION....HOW WOULD U FEEL IF UR BF DID TIS TO U????MMG I DNT WANT UR RELATIONSHIP WITH SMURFY SPOILT BCORZ OF ME.....BUT U MUST UNDERSTAND HOW IT HURTS .....U URSELF IS A GERL......U SHOULD NOE HW IT FEEL RYTE...?......
SMURFY....I NVR NVR EVER STOP U TO BE WITH UR FRENZ AND FAMILY....NVR!MMG I HAPPY TAT U WANT TO SPENT UR TYME WITH ME.....BUT THE WAY U TOLD ME YESTERDAY IS LYKE SAYING THAT IM CONTROLING U......AM I???TAK PERNAH PON I CONTROL U TAU.....YESTERDAY U WANTED TO SHOW ME UR TRUE COLOUR.....IM KEEP SILENT DOESNT MEAN THAT I DONT DARE TO FIGHT BACK,DOES MEANT TAT I DNT HAVE ANY POINTS TO SAE.....IT IS BCORZ IM HURT WITH  ALL THE WERDS THAT CAME OUT FRM UR MOUTH....ALOT.....TILL NOW WHEN IM WRITING TIS BLOG ...IT DOES HURT SOO DEEPLY......HE TOLD ME THAT ALL TIS ALONG ,OUR 5 MTHS TOGETHER HE IS ACTING ,2 FACE......Y??IM SOO DOWN AFT THAT......SO TIS IS WAT U WANNA TOLD AND SHOW ME THAT I TURN U INTO.....SO IM TEACHING AND CHANGING U TO BECOME A HYPOCRITE?????IS THAT WAT U WANNA SHOW????I DO ECXCEPT THE WAY U ARE....AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND U.....BUT U????DO U EVER EVER HAVE THE INISIATIVE TO ACCUALI UNDERSTAND ME????NO SMURFY....NOT AT ALL!!
I SHOWERED U WITH LOVE AND CONCERN BUT TIS I GET IN RETURN.......SERIOUSLY  I GIVE UP....IM NOT STRONG ENUF TO GO THROUGH ALL TIS.......
AT THE COFFESHOP.....AFT TALKED THINZ OUT TO U.....U DRINK AGAIN.....YES...MMG I KATER U NK MINOM U MINOM....BUT DEEP INSIDE U DNT NOE HOW I FEEL.....REALLY REALLY DISAPPOINTED WITH U .....U DNT MEANT WAT U SAE.....U DNT.....!PROMISE?????THE TERM PROMISE IS NVR  WITHIN U.....IF I WOULD CHANGE THE TYME BCK TO THE PAST.......I WILL PROVE TO U WAT U SAE TO ME......I MAYBE SMILING RYTE INFRONT OF U BT DEEP IN IM NOT.......WAT HAPPENED YESTERDAE I WILL.....I WILL REMEMBER TILL ETERNITY......
PLZ DNT TINK OF URSELF AJE.....THINKS OF OTHERS TOO......U NVR....NVR AT ALL SHOUT AT ME....AND ALL THE TINZ U DID TO ME YESTERDAY....NOW U DID.....U BUCK ME UP.....U GIVE ME A WAKE UP CALL...SERIOUSLY.....U TRYING TO PROVE TO ME THAT U CAN MAKE ME HATES U.........TO TELL U THE TRUTH.....IM DISAPPOINTED WITH U AND U REALLY REALLY HURTS ME.....SORRIE FER EVERYTHINZ.....

IS DERE SOMETHINZ GG ON BEHIND MY BACK??

LATELY......I FEEL THAT SOMETHINZ IS NOT RYTE.........I NOT SURE WHY BUT I HEARD ALOT OF STUFF ABT HER AND HYM......IS THAT TRUE?????ALTHOUGHT SHE ALREADY HAVE A BF BUT HEY CUMON LAR....NOWDAYS.....LAKI ORG KE,TUNANG ORG KE,MATAER ORG KE....SUMER MAEN SAUP JEK......AM I RYTE..?NIE BKN NK SANGKE BUROK UHK BUT JUST WANT TO BE CONSCIOUS......IF TINZ HAPPENED TWICE.....HAISSS.....


JUST NOW....TAKED TO SMURFY OTP......TINZ ARE A BIT BETTER NOW BUT I DONT NOE WETHER ITS REALLY SINCERE TO BE WIT ME OR JUZ THE NO OF MTHS U ARE COUNTING.......WATEVER IT IS......I STYLL WILL KEEP EVEYTHINZ TO MYSELF AND SOLVE IT MYSELF.......TAK NK DEPENDS ON ORG UHK..........ANW....JUST NOW AUTOCAD LESSON FINISHED UP MA HOUSE SKETCH UP......MA FRIENZ SAID MA HOUSE IS NICE.......'SMILE WIDELY':p......IT TAKES HARD WORK TO DO THAT.....I SHOW MAMA MA HOUSE....THEN SHE SAE NOT BAD.....THEN I TOLD HER THAT I WNNA MA HOUSE TO BE LYKE WAT I DESIGN WHEN I GROW UP.....:p

STANDING ALL BY MYSELF NOW

WENT TO SCHOOL JUST NOW AND FINISH UP MY SKETCH UP.....BUT STYLL HAVE TO PUT FURNITURE AT MY HOUSE BEFORE SUBMITING IT....I HAVE BEEN CHECKING MY HP EVERY SGL TYME....BUT NO MSG FRM HYM.....SO DECIDED TO CALLED HYM AFT SKEWL AND WANTED TO TELL HYM SUMTHINZ....BUT NOE WAT....HE ANS THE PHONE AND THEN PUT IT DOWN.....AND I CALLED AGAIN.....AND HE REPEATS THE SMAE TINZ.....N HE SAE HIS BZ.....NOW DEN I NOE....U CNT SPARE UR OWN GF  SOME OF UR TYME........U CNT RYTE...??SO I WONT TELL U.....KEEP TO MYSELF DEN......NOW.....ADYLA IS OFFICIALLY ALL BY HERSELF.....MA MUM IS ALWAYS BZ WITH HER WORK....I DNT REALLY SHARE MA PROB WITH MA BRO AND UNCLE.....MA SIS....ONLY IF SHE IS OUT HERE WIT ME....I MISSH HER DAMN MUCH.....SMURFY????BF???NO LONGER CARE ABT ME......FRENZ???THEY ALSO HAVE THEIR OWN PROB.....SO...JUST KEEP TO MYSELF.....ANW...HE SAE TAT HE WAS BZ AT 3 P.M.....LYKE HEY.....U WERK AT 5.......APER YG BZ NYER...??BLM KEJE PEK.....KN SENANG KATER TAK NK LYN.....EASY RYTE..?NVRM.....ITS OKAE.......RECENTLY HAVING SOME FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES.....I WANT ASKED MA MUM FER MONEY BUT TAK SMPI HATI...SHE ALSO GOT ADR TINZ TO HANDLE......IM HUNTING FER JOBS...PART TYME.....NEED TO  EARN MONEY MYSELF.....DNT WANT TO TELL OR ASKED FRM OTHER.....CORZ ONE DAY THEY WILL BRAG THINZ OUT........EVERY WERDS THAT HE SAES TO ME....MAKE ME REALISE......PPL SEE AKU NYER SENANG,TAPY SSH AKU...NO ONE NOES......NO ONE!!!!FOR WAT I DEPENDS AND PUT HIGH HOPE FOR SOMEONE THAT SAE THAT OUR 5 MTHS TOGETHER MEANTS NOTHING TO HYM.....SO BUCK UP...!!!!HOPEFULLY I CAN GET A JOB SOON....I NEED TO SUPPORT MYSELF.....MTK2 LUH DPT KEJE.....NOW....NO ONE TO LOOK FORWARD  TO MET UP AFT SKEWL SO CORZ HE WANT TO LEAD HIS OWN WAY.......HAISS......HOPE TAT I CAN GO THROUGH SWEET AND BITTER OF MY LIFE.......

DONT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME....MA PATIENCE HAS A LIMIT..

EXCUSE ME EIK......SERIOUSLY IM FUCKING PISS OFF RYTE NOW......!AKU ADR NK BAEK2 KN  KEADAAN NGAN KAU TAPY KAU MSG AKU MCM GYTU.......BAEK SKALI.....EIK KALO PSL BENDE ULU-ULU GYNIE KAU NK GDH NGAN AKU....TAK MAKE SENSE EIK.....ANW....KALO KAU BLH ADR YG LAEN,DEN GO!!IM NOT FORCING U TO STAY EIK.....!SLAME AKU NGAN KAU...KE SAPE2 PON....AKU TAK PERNA EIK UNGKIT PSL DUET.....SO DAMN!!!DNT U EVER TALKED ABT MONEY TO ME!!!DUET TAK BWK MATI UHK.......KALO KAU RASE NIE 5 BULAN KTE TOGETHER NIE HARAM.....DEN DONT REGARDS ME AS UR GF....SIMPLE...!AKU TAK PERNA PON PAKSE KAU TO BE WIT ME N TGL KN BRUDER2 KAU EIK.....KAU NK GY MANER2 PON AKU TAK PERNA LARANG.......KALO KAU RASE AKU NIE MCM CONTROL IDOP KAU KE APER....DEN UAT APER KAU NK FRM NOW ON.....TAK PAYAH RISAU PSL AKU.....KAU TAK BLH NK PHM AKU..AND KAU EXPECT AKU PHM KAU TOTALLY.....APER NIE?!!KALO KAU RASE AKU NIE UAT BYK SLH KAT KAU....KAU PIKIR DULU SBLOM BBL EIK.....SAPER YG BYK UAT SLH NIE.....AKU KE KAU????AKU DIAM ORG PIJAK2 KEPALE AKU..........PATIENCE AKU ADR LIMIT UHK.......N PART PALING SIAK SKALI.......HIS NOT FEELING WELL AND HE SAE TIS TO ME...'IM SOORY.ONCE IM BETTA WE CNTINUE OUR ARGUEMENT AITES...."TAK MCM SIAL?????K SBRG LAR EIK......KALO TU APER KAU NK.....
!

THANK......

TODAY FINISHED  SKEWL AT 12 BUT I WENT OFF AT 10.30 TO MIT SMURFY AT HIS HOUSE......WHEN I REACHED DERE.....I CALLED AND CALLED HYM FOR 25 TYME BUT HE DID NOT ANSWER AS HE WAS HAPPILY SLEEPING........DIER KALO DAH TDO TAK IGT DUNIA.....LTK BOM PON TAK AKN BGN.....HAHHAH....THEN I KNOCKED AT HIS DOOR UNTIL MA RIGHT MIDDLE FINGER IS REDDISH.....AND IT HUTS.....HAIYOOOO.....AFT 25 MINS OF WAITING FINALLY HE ANSWERED MY LAST CALLED AND OPENED THE DOOR......EVERYTHING WENT OFF SMOOTHLY ....AND I WAS HAPPY THAT I CAN SPENT TYME WITH HYM AS HIS COURT CASE YESTERDAY WAS BEING POSTPONE TO 9 AUGUST 2010.....THAT IS ON NATIONAL DAY.......WAH PIANG  EIK.....HAISSS.....THEN HE STARTED TO TAKE HIS GUITAR AND WANTED TO STRUM THE STRING BUT I DNT LET HYM TO DO SO.....LYKE EVERY TYME WEN IM AT HIS HOUSE HE WILL PLAYED HIS GUITAR.....CNT U LYKE PLAYED IT WHEN IM NOT WIT U......CAN U LYKE SPENT UR TYME WIT ME......CN U???AND BCORZ OF THAT HE START TO 'PERANGAI' WIT ME.....I CALLED HYM BUT HE IGNORED......THEN I WAS DAMN PISS OFF....MIGHT AS WELL U SAE DNT NEED TO MEET U RYTE......IF U DONT WANT TO LAYAN ME........THEN I WORE MA SHOES AND WENT OFF.....AND HE NAGGED AT ME AND SAE'SERUPE LAEN KALI TAKYAH DTG,BUANG MASE!'AND HE SLAM HIS DOOR......WOW!NOT EVEN ONE PERSON EVER SLAM THE DOOR RYTE AT MA FACE AND HE WAS THE FIRST DARING ONE......SYABAS!!!THX ALOT FOR THE WONDERFUL TREATMENT TAT U HAVE GIVEN ME......APPRECIATE ALOT.......!...KLAR....SORRIE IF I WAS THE ONE TAT DOESNT LET U PLAYED UR GUITAR .....IF U FEEL TAT U MISSH ME OR WATEVER.....DNT FIND ME.....GO FIND UR GUITAR AND SPENT TYME WIT IT........KECOH UHK.....PSL A DAMN GUITAR CAN CREATE A FIGHT.......AM I WRONG TO LYKE ASKED MY OWN BF TO SPENT HIS FEW HOURS WITH ME WITHOUT ANY OTHER DISTRACTION BEFORE HE WENT OFF TO WERK.??????AM I WRONG????HAISSSS......CONFUSED......